My life is great. I have a woman that loves me, friends that I rely on, and my needs are all cared for. However there are things I worry about, things that keep me up at night, things I never talk about until now.
Losing My Health
My health isn’t great, I’m working on it and it’s getting better but it isn’t great. Even though it isn’t great it’s also not bad. I’m able to wake up in the morning, work all day, and go to sleep. I don’t wake up throughout the night, I don’t need to nap during the day, I don’t NEED cups of coffee (though that doesn’t stop me from drinking it).
So I worry that the health I have, such as it is, will go away. The men in my family often die young (some before 50) and my father is the first man in the family to make it to 50 without having a heart attack. My younger brother recently spent almost 2 weeks in the hospital. I’m worried that the family history of bad health will catch up to me and I won’t be able to continue doing the things I enjoy.
Losing My Friends and Family
I’ve lost close friends, family before and I know it will happen in the future. But it does scare me, I think often about what could happen to them and what I would without them and honestly I don’t know.
My Business Failing
I just started this business, but it could very well fail, and if it doesn’t take off soon it may fail before it really begins. I’ve built up a nice cushion of work, and savings to keep me going for a while whether the business makes money or not, but it could still fail.
I need to put more into it then I have in the past. In the past it was a hobby, it was “extra money” and I didn’t NEED the money because I had a 9 to 5 I was relying on to pay my bills. Now though it is my 9 to 5 it is how I pay the bills and it needs to work. With that in mind I need to pitch more clients, buy more products for Amazon, drive more traffic to this site, sell things, drive for Lyft and Uber, whatever I need to do to pay the bills.
My Business Succeeding
Besides the thought of the business failing is the business becoming too successful. There are things in this world more important than money, more important than work and those things are my focus. But if the business does grow, do I sabotage it and try to keep it small? Or do I ride the wave and make more money? What if I change and not for the better because of success.
My best friend recently moved away and one of the last things he said to me was “be careful you don’t lose yourself. Your very good at what you do, but don’t lose yourself to do your work better”. At first I thought he was crazy, but the amount of people who have reached out to me to hire me, the amount of Amazon sales I’ve had this month, and the way the business is growing all around terrifies me.
What Are Your Fears?
Let me know what keeps you up at night in the comments.